We have completed our IVF cycle. Retrieval was last Monday and they got 13 eggs. The following day we were advised that of those 13 only 11 were mature and all 11 fertilized. I was so very excited. 11 fertilized? We would definitely get some good ones and maybe even have some to freeze.
On Saturday we did transfer. We had already decided to only transfer one and so the embryologist came to talk to us and told us that we had one blast, three that were close to blast and the rest weren't doing that well. He advised us that in his experience we probably wouldn't have anything left to freeze. I was so disappointed. We put our one blast in and headed back home where I stayed on bed rest for 48 hours (a very difficult thing to do with two little men who are used to having their mommy with them all the time!). I am trying to remain optimistic as I know it only takes one and a blast has a pretty good chance of taking. But I am still feeling a little down. I mean we had 11 (!!) and only 1 made it to blast and with nothing frozen, if this cycle doesn't work it means we start over from scratch. While once again I don't think cycling was difficult for me, it was definitely harder this time around with the boys.
So now we wait. Last time I got a BFP at 7 days past a 5 day transfer (7dp5dt) (essentially 12 days past "ovulation"). So of course Ill start testing later this week and maybe get a wonderful Thanksgiving surprise.
My boys are doing well, although they missed having their mommy with them all weekend. We are working so hard with N to get him crawling. He wants to be mobil so badly, and I am hopeful that by Christmas he will be able to do a nice army crawl. Z is still taking steps here and there but seems to be doing better with the inserts in his shoes. They finally arrived last Saturday and we did a breaking in schedule and now he wears them during all waking hours. Each day he seems to take steps a little bit more often. I am so hopeful that a few more weeks of practice and he will be walking and then running everywhere!
We also got good news (I think) on the gait trainer front. We got a letter from the vendor which seems to say (in my totally inexperienced opinion) that there is no pre-certification for the gait trainer required by our insurance company and it should be 100% covered, however they have no way to guarantee that until they order it and submit the bill and of course once its ordered its not returnable so essentially we had to sign that if for some reason insurance doesn't cover it, we will. (You can bet I'll fight tooth and nail to get it paid for if for some reason insurance decides to screw us). So we signed the paperwork and sent it back today and hopefully we will be getting the gait trainer soon. Not sure how long it takes to arrive, but I'll still tell myself in time for Christmas and anything sooner will just be a bonus.
I have this picture in my head of my two little boys standing all on their "own" decorating the Christmas tree. Hopefully I can get an actual picture of this in just a few weeks.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Underwhelming........
So my response to the stim medications has thus far been underwhelming at best. I have only 9 measurable follicles (potential eggs) as of today (after 5 days of stimming) and my lining is only at a 3 (my lining is at a 2 during my period, so that will give you an idea for a baby to implant it needs to be at about an 8). So I am feeling a little down about it. In looking back at the cycle that gave us N and Z (after the same amount of days stimming) I had 15 measurable follicles and my lining was at an 8. They increased my dose on Monday when I had only 5 measurable follicles and lining at a 3. I go back again on Friday and I am hopeful that there will be a better response. Not that 9 eggs would be horrible, but I would prefer more. With our last cycle we had 14 eggs recovered, 12 were mature, but only 7 fertilized. Of those 7 only 1 made it to blast (N) the other embryo was of a lower grade (no idea what grade) and was "eh" (Z). So obviously I know that it doesn't take a perfect embryo to turn into a baby.........but knowing that only 2 of ours made it last time makes me worry that with only 9 (thus far) we might have a problem come transfer day. So I am keeping my fingers crossed, relying upon my Cysters to keep me calm and, hoping I get a pleasant surprise on Friday.
N had a joint therapy session with his OT and PT today and they worked on crawling with him. He so wants to crawl! He has been moving himself around in a circle for a few weeks now and I know that at some point it is going to click that he can go in a straight line too. I cannot wait for that day! The picture in my mind of both of my boys being able to go where they want and do what they want brings tears to my eyes. I always feel awful that Z can follow me in the kitchen, open cabinets to pull stuff out and just generally assert his independence whereas N is just stuck where I put him. (Well he can roll places and move around in a circle, but it's not the same). I feel like N gets left out and it bothers me, a lot.
I ordered (upon the recommendation of Z's PT) orthotics for Z. They are from this site www.cascadedafo.com and we got him the "cricket". They aren't custom orthotics but Z's PT feels that these might be just what Z needs to finally take off walking. I hope so. I would love to be able to take my boys out for a walk and let them both walk. But until Z is walking on his own, I can't because N needs both my hands for support. Of course once N's gait trainer arrives we will really be able to go for walks!
N had a joint therapy session with his OT and PT today and they worked on crawling with him. He so wants to crawl! He has been moving himself around in a circle for a few weeks now and I know that at some point it is going to click that he can go in a straight line too. I cannot wait for that day! The picture in my mind of both of my boys being able to go where they want and do what they want brings tears to my eyes. I always feel awful that Z can follow me in the kitchen, open cabinets to pull stuff out and just generally assert his independence whereas N is just stuck where I put him. (Well he can roll places and move around in a circle, but it's not the same). I feel like N gets left out and it bothers me, a lot.
I ordered (upon the recommendation of Z's PT) orthotics for Z. They are from this site www.cascadedafo.com and we got him the "cricket". They aren't custom orthotics but Z's PT feels that these might be just what Z needs to finally take off walking. I hope so. I would love to be able to take my boys out for a walk and let them both walk. But until Z is walking on his own, I can't because N needs both my hands for support. Of course once N's gait trainer arrives we will really be able to go for walks!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Moving Forward
Tonight I FINALLY get to start stims! I am very excited about that. As referenced previously, because my DH will be traveling overseas next week I needed to stay on the Lupron (suppression medication) for an extra week but now I can finally start to stim and then we will hopefully be pregnant again. I went in for the always wonderful wakeup of bloodwork and transvaginal ultrasound this morning to make sure everything was good to go, and now I wait for a phone call from the doctor giving me my instructions for tonight's stimulation injection. I have also started drinking my gatorade so as to prevent OHSS. (very painful, very bad result of over stimulating).
We also had an appointment with the developmental pediatrician today and for once I didn't leave the appointment crying. She was so impressed with how well N is doing and commented that she has hopes he will walk. I think at the last two appointments he was so young that it was really hard for her to have a good sense of what he could/would do and I picked up on that, she never said anything depressing or horrible to hear, but I think I just felt that vibe. Not that it has prevented me from being positive about N's progress and potential, but for that day and a few days after the appointment it was really hard for me. She did feel that N is most likely a Spastic Quad, meaning that all four of his limbs are affected. I am not entirely sure that this is an accurate diagnosis, but I don't know if there is a true accurate diagnosis for N. This is because his legs are definitely affect, his left arm is affected, but his right isn't and his face doesn't seem to be either. Not that any of it really matters, it doesn't change our therapies, goals, or how we feel so in the end I don't care what label they give him. He really showed off for the doctor today with his "ring" sitting (ie sitting with his feet touching as opposed to legs straight out in front of him), moving around in a circle on his belly, rolling, and putting blocks into a cup and taking them out again.
Z did really well too and the only comment she had about him was that his fine motor skills seemed to be lagging again and perhaps OT should be restarted. I'll talk to N's OT (who also used to treat Z until it was determined he no longer qualified b/c he had caught up) and see what she thinks. But I do wonder if some of it isn't my fault/lack of clarity on when things should be done. For example, the doctor handed Z a crayon today to ask him to draw. He made a mark on the paper, but he had NEVER held a crayon before. I had read that crayons/coloring was a skill/activity for children around 18 months, my boys are 17 1/2 months chronologically but only 15 1/2 months adjusted age. So I haven't given them crayons yet (N exhibited exactly why when it was his turn and the crayon went right to his mouth, he is working on molars!). Perhaps I should have, but I really wish there was some clarity on stuff like that so that I was prepared!
So I will be getting some crayons and paper I suppose so that the boys can learn to draw. DH and I stopped at the toy store on the way home from the doctor (where I forgot to get crayons!) and picked up some of those wooden puzzles with the "handle" on the pieces. I figured those would be good for fine motor skills as well. I would happily take suggestions on other activities that your child is doing (or was doing) around 15-18 months. Did you introduce crayons? Playdough? What other things did you utilize to work on fine motor skills? Of course I will ask the OT for some suggestions as well, but I find that other mommy's tend to have some really great ideas and I will take all the help I can get!
We also had an appointment with the developmental pediatrician today and for once I didn't leave the appointment crying. She was so impressed with how well N is doing and commented that she has hopes he will walk. I think at the last two appointments he was so young that it was really hard for her to have a good sense of what he could/would do and I picked up on that, she never said anything depressing or horrible to hear, but I think I just felt that vibe. Not that it has prevented me from being positive about N's progress and potential, but for that day and a few days after the appointment it was really hard for me. She did feel that N is most likely a Spastic Quad, meaning that all four of his limbs are affected. I am not entirely sure that this is an accurate diagnosis, but I don't know if there is a true accurate diagnosis for N. This is because his legs are definitely affect, his left arm is affected, but his right isn't and his face doesn't seem to be either. Not that any of it really matters, it doesn't change our therapies, goals, or how we feel so in the end I don't care what label they give him. He really showed off for the doctor today with his "ring" sitting (ie sitting with his feet touching as opposed to legs straight out in front of him), moving around in a circle on his belly, rolling, and putting blocks into a cup and taking them out again.
Z did really well too and the only comment she had about him was that his fine motor skills seemed to be lagging again and perhaps OT should be restarted. I'll talk to N's OT (who also used to treat Z until it was determined he no longer qualified b/c he had caught up) and see what she thinks. But I do wonder if some of it isn't my fault/lack of clarity on when things should be done. For example, the doctor handed Z a crayon today to ask him to draw. He made a mark on the paper, but he had NEVER held a crayon before. I had read that crayons/coloring was a skill/activity for children around 18 months, my boys are 17 1/2 months chronologically but only 15 1/2 months adjusted age. So I haven't given them crayons yet (N exhibited exactly why when it was his turn and the crayon went right to his mouth, he is working on molars!). Perhaps I should have, but I really wish there was some clarity on stuff like that so that I was prepared!
So I will be getting some crayons and paper I suppose so that the boys can learn to draw. DH and I stopped at the toy store on the way home from the doctor (where I forgot to get crayons!) and picked up some of those wooden puzzles with the "handle" on the pieces. I figured those would be good for fine motor skills as well. I would happily take suggestions on other activities that your child is doing (or was doing) around 15-18 months. Did you introduce crayons? Playdough? What other things did you utilize to work on fine motor skills? Of course I will ask the OT for some suggestions as well, but I find that other mommy's tend to have some really great ideas and I will take all the help I can get!
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